Winners and Losers of the Super Bowl

Being a UT and Peyton fan I was super ecstatic over the Super Bowl. To be honest, even though I lived in Colorado for 10 years including the 2 years the Broncos won back to back Super Bowls I didn't really become a fan until recently. When Tebow became the quarterback I started to slowly get on the bandwagon and then when Peyton moved to Denver I was definitely a fan. This year I watched the entire game, all he commercials and the halftime show. There's a lot to discuss.

Just a tad excited!

Let's start with the winners:

The Broncos.
Duh. I love that Peyton got another ring and can retire on a high note. I equally love that it was the defense that really sealed them their victory. I don't think everyone was expecting that. 

The Ryan Reynolds commercial.
So hilarious! 

 

The Heinz Commercial.
Those wiener dogs are precious!

 

The Doritos commercial with the ultrasound.
I thought this commercial was too cute. Apparently NARAL (National Abortion and Reproductive Rights Action League) did not think the commercial was cute or funny. They tweeted that the commercial was an "antichoice tactic of humanizing fetuses and sexist tropes of dads as clueless and moms as uptight.” Seriously? Humanizing fetuses? What a novel idea! A baby, a human! This makes my blood boil. Even before having my son I was pro-life but when you hear a heartbeat at 6 weeks on something as small as a seed you know right then it's a human. The idea that people think this is not a child until birth and a woman has a right to get rid of it before then is totally and utterly barbaric. Disgusting. Now, I think almost everything has a political agenda. But if I had to guess I would imagine Doritos just thought they were making a funny commercial. Although I would love to think that Doritos made that commercial to show all the pro-choice for murder that a fetus is in fact a baby. I haven't found anything online showing a response from Doritos to NARAL's tweet. If any of you have, please let me know. 

Lady Gaga!! 

When I heard her do the tribute to the Sound of Music on the Oscars a few years ago I was blown away at how beautiful her voice was. When I heard she would be the one to sing the National Anthem I knew she'd kill it. She did not let me down. A lot of people made fun of what she was wearing and made references to the Hunger Games. What did you expect? Everyone has a gimmick. I love that she let her patriotism shine!

The montage video of halftime shows past.

I have to admit, when I heard "is anybody alive out there?!" I thought Bruce was going to come out. I might've jumped up off the couch. I loved seeing all the past entertainers. If the show was truly supposed to be a tribute to past shows they should've had more people come out and perform instead of the performers from just the past 2. Done get me wrong, I love Bruno too bad he didn't do the entire show. I'll save the rest of my thoughts on that for the losers column. 

Now for the losers:

Cam Newton. 

Yes, he's literally a loser because his team didn't win but that's not what I mean. He showed his you know what in the post-game interview. I get it you lost, but act like a man. You lost a Super Bowl! You didn't lose your job, your spouse, a loved one, your house, a limb, you lost a game that very few people ever get to go watch let alone play in. Get over yourself. You're not a brain surgeon. You're a football player. At the end of the day, you're not that important. 

What a pouty baby.

The Halftime Show. 

Seriously what kind of half-assed crap was that? The halftime show is a loser for a few reasons, here we go:

1: It was daylight.

They should always have a game in an indoor arena where they can make it dark or have it somewhere that gets dark by halftime. It just wasn't that magical in the sun.

2: Coldplay.

I'm not really a fan of them anyway, but that kind of music just isn't that "half-timey." You need something upbeat and loud and fun. You, like Bruno . They should've just let him do the whole thing instead of one song. Although, I do love that song! 

3: The rainbow/flowery/supposedly-referencing-San Fran-in-the-sixties-obviously-pro-gay-message throughout the entire show.

Ugh. Why? Why is that necessary? I will be the first to admit I'm super political. But even my super right-wing conservative self who loves to discuss politics just wants to watch a football game sometimes. I just want to be entertained. Let's leave the political agenda for another day. Oh, and guess what? In case you have been under a rock the past 6 months, the Supreme Court ignored the tenth amendment and and ruled in favor of gay marriage. Having a halftime show dedicated to this is irrelevant. It would be no different if the whole show had been dedicated to Obama becoming president 4 years ago or celebrating the Warriors NBA championship. You won, a while ago. Let's move on. 

4. Beyoncé. 

Congrats, Bey! You're the biggest loser of the Super Bowl!! So many thing things contribute to you winning this award. Dressed like a hoochie, and dancing like one too Beyoncé was nothing but tacky. The (literal) salute to the Black Panthers from her dancers who were festooned in black panther style berets was over the top. It's no coincidence that as the sang her new song "Formation," they were less than 50 miles away from where the formation of the Black Panthers took place 50 years ago. They also formed an "X" during their performance as a nod to Malcolm X. And if you think this is just me reading too much into it, you can see below that this is not the case. 

Fists raised evocative of the black power salute by Tommie Smith and John Carlos at the 1968 Olympic Games in Mexico City. 

Mario Woods was a stabbing suspect and was shot by police in San Francisco on December 2 after refusing to drop a knife and comply with police. 

Here is the video where Beyoncé shows a young black child dancing in front of police pointing to graffiti that says "stop shooting us," and also makes references to hurricane Katrina. 

 

Here are the lyrics (from lyrics,ode.com) Warning: contains obscenities. 

[Intro: Messy Mya]
What happened at the New Wil’ins?
Bitch, I'm back by popular demand

[Refrain: Beyoncé]
Y'all haters corny with that illuminati mess
Paparazzi, catch my fly, and my cocky fresh
I'm so reckless when I rock my Givenchy dress (stylin')
I'm so possessive so I rock his Roc necklaces
My daddy Alabama, Momma Louisiana
You mix that negro with that Creole make a Texas bama
I like my baby hair with baby hair and afros
I like my negro nose with Jackson Five nostrils
Earned all this money but they never take the country out me
I got a hot sauce in my bag, swag

[Interlude: Messy Mya + Big Freedia]
Oh yeah, baby, oh yeah I, ohhhhh, oh, yes, I like that
I did not come to play with you hoes, haha
I came to slay, bitch
I like cornbreads and collard greens, bitch
Oh, yes, you besta believe it

[Refrain: Beyoncé]
Y'all haters corny with that illuminati mess
Paparazzi, catch my fly, and my cocky fresh
I'm so reckless when I rock my Givenchy dress (stylin')
I'm so possessive so I rock his Roc necklaces
My daddy Alabama, Momma Louisiana
You mix that negro with that Creole make a Texas bama
I like my baby hair with baby hair and afros
I like my negro nose with Jackson Five nostrils
Earned all this money but they never take the country out me
I got a hot sauce in my bag, swag

[Chorus: Beyoncé]
I see it, I want it, I stunt, yellow-bone it
I dream it, I work hard, I grind 'til I own it
I twirl on them haters, albino alligators
El Camino with the seat low, sippin' Cuervo with no chaser
Sometimes I go off (I go off), I go hard (I go hard)
Get what's mine (take what's mine), I'm a star (I'm a star)
Cause I slay (slay), I slay (hey), I slay (okay), I slay (okay)
All day (okay), I slay (okay), I slay (okay), I slay (okay)
We gon' slay (slay), gon' slay (okay), we slay (okay), I slay (okay)
I slay (okay), okay (okay), I slay (okay), okay, okay, okay, okay
Okay, okay, ladies, now let's get in formation, cause I slay
Okay, ladies, now let's get in formation, cause I slay
Prove to me you got some coordination, cause I slay
Slay trick, or you get eliminated

[Verse: Beyoncé]
When he fuck me good I take his ass to Red Lobster, cause I slay
When he fuck me good I take his ass to Red Lobster, cause I slay
If he hit it right, I might take him on a flight on my chopper, cause I slay
Drop him off at the mall, let him buy some J's, let him shop up, cause I slay
I might get your song played on the radio station, cause I slay
I might get your song played on the radio station, cause I slay
You just might be a black Bill Gates in the making, cause I slay
I just might be a black Bill Gates in the making

[Chorus: Beyoncé]
I see it, I want it, I stunt, yellow-bone it
I dream it, I work hard, I grind 'til I own it
I twirl on them haters, albino alligators
El Camino with the seat low, sippin' Cuervo with no chaser
Sometimes I go off (I go off), I go hard (I go hard)
Get what's mine (take what's mine), I'm a star (I'm a star)
Cause I slay (slay), I slay (hey), I slay (okay), I slay (okay)
All day (okay), I slay (okay), I slay (okay), I slay (okay)
We gon' slay (slay), gon' slay (okay), we slay (okay), I slay (okay)
I slay (okay), okay (okay), I slay (okay), okay, okay, okay, okay
Okay, okay, ladies, now let's get in formation, cause I slay
Okay, ladies, now let's get in formation, cause I slay
Prove to me you got some coordination, cause I slay
Slay trick, or you get eliminated

[Bridge: Beyoncé]
Okay, ladies, now let's get in formation, I slay
Okay, ladies, now let's get in formation
You know you that bitch when you cause all this conversation
Always stay gracious, best revenge is your paper

[Outro]
Girl, I hear some thunder
Golly, look at that water, boy, oh lord

Classy, no? Makes the Janet Jackson/Justin Timberlake debacle look like a kindergarten prank. WTH does "I slay" mean anyway? You're on a power trip and you're just not that dang important. Oh, and Red Lobster? Doesn't speak highly of Jay-Z's abilities does it?

What makes me the most mad, is if Kid Rock and Hank Williams, Jr. had performed the show and had red, white and blue cards in the audience spelling out "Believe in the 2nd Amendment," all hell would've broken out. There would've been total outrage, calling them child killers. So tired of the hypocrisy. 

References:

http://www.theguardian.com/music/2016/feb/08/beyonce-black-panthers-homage-black-lives-matter-super-bowl-50

http://espn.go.com/nfl/story/_/id/14745754/super-bowl-50-cam-newton-carolina-panthers-defends-walking-reporters

http://www.breitbart.com/big-government/2016/02/07/naral-attacks-doritos-ultrasound-super-bowl-ad-for-humanizing-fetuses/

http://www.sfgate.com/bayarea/article/Mario-Woods-had-21-bullet-wounds-drugs-in-6824871.php